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> > Somerset Collection - Distance: 2 miles > 2800 West Big Beaver Road > Troy MI 48084 > > **__Materials__** Sound for the Bears > When asking questions, the patient (or in this case, the 'reciever' of the questions, needs to understand what you are saying. > Below are questions that really help evaluate the situation. These are gotten from []: > > "The reason why many problems seem unsolvable is that we concentrate on directly finding solutions for them. We either believe that time will solve our problems, or that we’ll solve them by doing the same thing over and and over again. Neither will work. If we don’t actively pursue solutions, most of the times the problem will not be solved. If we repeatedly apply the same failed alternatives, we’ll repeatedly fail. > The key, then, is to be curious about the situation. See problems as opportunities to increase your creative and intellectual powers, and not as eternal roadblocks. It may not be easy at first, but having this perspective will enable you to be more objective and arrive at a solution more quickly. > So how do you achieve this, then? By asking questions. Here are seven practical ones that will make any problem easier to solve: This next excerpt, from [], describes questions to ask yourself if you are in a conflict with someone you care about. > "If you find yourself in conflict with someone you care about, ask yourself why. Is it because you want something to go your way? Sometimes we get so busy protecting our egos that we get embroiled in very intense battles. > Anger is a "get my way" behavior. If you recognize that you use anger to get your way, are you ready to do something different? If you are, decide to look at the situation as having many different possible solutions. Maybe yours is not the only way. > To begin, ask yourself these important questions: > 1. Do I want to win the argument or win the relationship? If you simply argue to win the argument, you can look forward to a lonely life. If you're in a relationship, you will spend a lot of time feeling miserable and blaming your partner if you fight to win. Ask yourself if continued conflict is worth the price you are paying. Decide what you want to do instead. > 2. What rule states that someone else "should" do what I want? Usually, when you want something done your way and you throw in the word "should" you are expressing a belief. Just because you believe something should be done a certain way doesn't make it true. Remember that you are a volunteer in your relationship and so is your partner. If you begin dictating how your partner should behave, your partner will resist. NO ONE likes to be controlled. > 3. Is it really true that my happiness depends on what my loved one does or doesn't do? Think about this. If you really believe this, you are saying you are a helpless victim and your happiness is totally dependent on your partner doing everything just the way you want it. Choose instead to take responsibility for what you can control: your own behavior. > 4. What are some options to solve this problem? Agree to set aside some time for you and your partner to brainstorm some options. They can be wild, far out ideas; it doesn't matter. You want to generate many possible ways to solve the problem. Be careful that your solutions don't start with what your partner should do. Keep the focus on personal responsibility. In fact, you could write at the top of a piece of paper the words "I can" then list the things you can do to solve the problem. > 5. How can I be a part of the solution? This is taking personal responsibility. It's a good idea to have this question at the front of your mind at all times. When you take personal responsibility, it's very hard for you to blame your partner. > 6. In the grand scheme of things, how important is this? We only have a short period of time to live our life. Do you want to spend your life in conflict? Do you want to spend your life being jerked around by your ego? Or would you rather spend your time wisely, connecting with the people you care about? > 7. Can I decide to Let it Go? "Let It Go" is the phrase I want you to keep in mind. So many things are trivial until we make them important. You can choose harmony with your loved one. You can choose flexibility and watch conflict disappear." > > > **__These are the questions/advice we chose to put in our bears:__** > Audrey's Bear: (the Conflict Bear) > 1. What are some options to solve the problem? > 2. Can > 3. > 4. > 5. > Emma's Bear: (the Solution Bear) > 1. Is this really a problem? If so, what is the problem? > 2. What other problems have to be solved before solving this one? > 3. How can you be part of the solution? > 4. > 5. budget commercials time line research home
 * **__Place to Shop for Materials__**
 * 2 Build-A-Bears
 * 6 sounds
 * Stand for the bears
 * hallmark cards record a sound card.
 * build-a -bear: build-a-sound
 * __Therapeutic Effects of Question Asking:__**
 * 1) **Is this really a problem?** You’d be surprised at how often there really isn’t any problem. Remember, a big part of stress comes from your mindset towards a situation, so if you’re determined to view it as a problem, then it most certainly will be.
 * 2) **What is the problem?** Define the problem. Don’t get trapped into thinking that if you’re moving, your progressing towards a solution. Stop and determine what it is that you really want solved, or what it is you really want to accomplish. It’ll save you time and money.
 * 3) **What other problems have to be solved before solving this one?** Frequently a problem is just a collection of lesser problems. By solving these lesser problems one by one you’ll be more efficient than if you were trying to deal with one giant blob.
 * 4) **When did it start to surface?**
 * 5) **Who else will be affected by this problem?** You’re likely not the only person touched by this. Find other people who might be affected by the consequences of not solving the problem and tap into their ideas. Since their own wellness is at stake, they might be willing to contribute.
 * 6) **How has it been resolved in the past?** You’ve all heard it: “don’t reinvent the wheel.” More likely than not, this situation has happened in the past.
 * 7) **How is it similar/different from past situations?** This is pretty obvious but worth saying: Pick the parts of previous solutions to the same problem that were successful and discard those that weren’t. Avoid applying a generic solution to a problem which probably has different variables. "